Divorcing Your Partner After a Long Term Marriage




The divorce rate among couples over 50 is steadily rising. This trend is referred to as the “gray divorce”.

When this type of client comes to see me they frequently have a long term marriage, with a life time of accumulated wealth, in real property, savings, investments and retirement accounts.

Every relationship is different, but some of the reasons that these long term marriages end include:

1. Lack of common interests or compatibility. The parties have grown apart after years of pursuing their own interests and hobbies, separate from each other. They may have very different friends and social groups. One party may have acquired additional education after the marriage and may have moved on to a different social group.

2. End of moral obligation. Some “gray divorce” couples stayed together through an unhappy marriage until their children were adults, believing that it was important to maintain a more stable home environment for their children. I find this is more prevalent in “gray divorce” than younger couple. Younger couples may feel that divorce is more socially acceptable; their children may have friends whose parents are divorced.

3. Pain. Clients over 70 who have made the decision to divorce their long term spouse frequently have a strong emotional component associated with the decision. Some have suffered many years of abuse:


and just want to live out the rest of their life free from the abuse. They understand that the division of their assets will likely force them to live at a much lower standard of living, but they have reached the point where it is more painful to stay in the relationship than to leave and face the financial consequences.

4. If you find yourself in a “Gray Divorce”, it is important to take the time to plan for your future and seek financial advice as well as legal advice from an attorney who is a certified specialist in family law.

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